Poor service in restaurants. Appalling manners everywhere you go. A plague of chewing gum spots all over the pavements. You can never find a policeperson when you need one. And don’t get us started on global warming. If you’re as grumpy as us (and more and more of you are) you’ll nod like Churchill (the parcel shelf dog, not the politician) as you read this. Oh, yus.

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Mystery customer evaluation team.